Makeup VS True Beauty

If you have ever struggled with the pressure to look a certain way in order to fit in or feel good enough, this post is for you. (If I'm honest, this post is for most of us...) In GIRL TALK, speaking events and Girl Power Camps the topic of pressures to be perfect is always a popular conversation. Today's media can be overwhelming when it comes to defining the standard of beauty. I'm here to reveal some big news...There is NO standard or requirement, we are led to believe there is and it's up to us to stop the madness and empower each other to be REAL. A successful professional makeup artist, Sheila Ybarra revealed her thoughts on the power of makeup and beauty standards. This is just too good not to share!

So I’m posting these pictures as a way to get your attention for what I am about to say. As a professional makeup artist I always strive to create art that shows my clients at their very best. I find the best colors, best angles to enhance, I want their makeup to draw out their personality, and I do my best to the bring their vision to life. My clients hire me because they want to look beautiful, lively … but still look like themselves. Don’t get me wrong I do have clients who will actually say “I don’t want to look like myself, paint my face!” I’m very honest about what I can achieve and what I cannot achieve when I am speaking with a client I always maintain a high degree of authenticity.

And so when my client shows me a photo that she pulled up on Pinterest or Instagram that has been overly photo shopped or filtered I do have to explain to this client that that picture has been modified. I am a makeup artist I am not a magician, I cannot make every single pore on your face go away. Don’t get me wrong, I am simultaneously intrigued and troubled by the extensive use of makeup, photoshop, and I have been noticing more people moving towards towards a standard of perfection that is not only unnatural, but frankly impossible! For example the average time I spend on a photo shoot can be between 4 to 8 hours long. So imagine that the model in front of me has spent hours upon hours in makeup application and yet their pictures are still extensively edited before being approved to print. All their facial imperfections are removed, the skin is lightened, the pores on the nose or minimized, there eyes are brightened up, and every now and then we have a client ask the photographer to straighten out the bridge of her nose or even take her braces off in photoshop. Don’t get me wrong I am fascinated by it I even get a chuckle when a girlfriend will Face-tune a group photo of all of us and I get a flashback of what I look like when I was 20 years old!

What I am trying to say is this: what is expected is something not even the most beautiful among us can attain, and trust me I have seen some of the most beautiful women sit in my chair. Yes some of my clients do you have perfect skin but these are very young ladies. Everybody has imperfections. I know we always say that true beauty is within. We say that we just need to “be ourselves.” However, the truth is, we are still a product of our environment, and none of us–whether guy or girl–can escape that subconscious realization that we are not measuring up. I have noticed lately since the lock down ( COVID LOCKDOWN ) the majority of my clients that have come into the studio or very self-conscious. I’m wondering have they spent so much time on social media that they have been comparing themselves to people that they follow? I told a client of mine today that I thought it was a good idea that she start to Unfollow some of the people on social media that did not make her feel good about herself. If you find yourself looking at someone’s social media page and you start questioning whether you measure up, I highly suggest that you hit Unfollow! I always love posting before and after pictures so that women can relate to the woman in the before picture. Because that’s what we all look like! NO we did not wake up looking like the after picture. Try loving on yourself a little bit more and start looking from within and find the things that you love about yourself and start making sure you tell yourself every day why you love YOU! OK my rant is over... Sheila Ybarra

HELP! I'm BORED!

Feeling bored? No worries! I've got you covered! The truth is that we all feel this way from time to time. Oftentimes, the feeling of boredom isn't really that we have nothing to do, it can be a way for us to procrastinate (like doing homework, cleaning our room, etc.) because we are not feeling sure about where to begin.

What does it really mean when we are bored? Check out these interesting findings from a study done by

Elizabeth H. Weybright, John Schulenberg, Linda L. Caldwell. More Bored Today Than Yesterday? National Trends in Adolescent Boredom From 2008 to 2017. Journal of Adolescent Health, 2019; DOI: 10.1016/j.jadohealth.2019.09.021

"Perhaps boredom is simply one more indicator of adolescent dissatisfaction with how their time is spent," Weybright stated in the paper.

"Adolescence is a time of change and growth," she said. "Teens want more independence, but may not have as much autonomy as they'd like in their school and home life. That creates situations where they're prone to boredom, and may have a hard time coping with being bored."

Time management can be a difficult learning process in a girl's tween/teen years. If you are into extracurricular activities such as sports, cheer, music, etc., your days probably seem pretty full. Our schedules can be SO busy that when we do have downtime we don't know what to do with it and obsessive scrolling of social media can just add more anxiety to the situation.

Self care and positivity is a must for our daily routine. When I find myself feeling bored, I have collected a variety of favorite go-to activities along my journey. I love taking my dog for a walk. Walking is great exercise and it really provides a chance to clear my mind and take a moment to explore the beauty of nature along the way. Reading and listening to my music is relaxing and I always learn something new!

We are not always motivated, so I thought of a perfect way to say bye bye to boredom and hello to positivity. I hope you have as much fun playing GIRL TALK BINGO as I had creating it. I'd love to hear all about the Girl Power you used to complete a Bingo!

RULES: Complete tasks to score a BINGO / 5 across, diagonal, up and down are allowed! Don't forget the middle block with the Girls Above Society logo is a FREE space!

Are You The REAL YOU?

To be authentic, we must be brave enough to realize that we are imperfect and that's 100% normal! Authenticity allows us to believe that we are worthy of acceptance just as we are. I've learned that there is a ton of Girl Power and grace involved in our lives when being authentic becomes the norm. This self-love journey is just that...a road that despite the twists and roadblocks, we rise not only for ourselves but we sprinkle that magic with everyone we meet. The courage to be YOU despite everything we see in the media that tells us otherwise is a challenge worth exploring!

Have you ever been in a situation where you get that feeling that something is not right? We all have at one time or another and believe it or not we can use those experiences to gain more confidence and avoid awkward situations.

Whether being together with a group of friends (maybe some you don’t normally hang out with) or hanging out one on one with a friend, you will experience times that you find yourself behaving differently than you would normally. Trying too hard to fit in and be liked is exhausting, and if we’re not careful we can easily sink into becoming someone else for the sake of those we surround ourselves with.

Being confident enough to be YOU is incredibly important and empowering! This amazing ability will give you the Girl Power to make good choices, surround yourself with like minded friends and trust me, losing the stress of feeling like you have to act or look a certain way is totally worth celebrating!!

Take my “Are You Being the REAL YOU?” quiz and launch yourself to becoming the very best REAL version of YOU!

OK, now you know what stage your authentic self is currently situated. The construction of loving who you are and celebrating our unique qualities is much like a building project. The foundation has to be laid and the walls must be able to withstand the elements much like we face in life. Whether you are a "Second Chance Girl", "The REAL Deal", or if your current status is "You're SO close!" and "You Got This" KEEP BUILDING! Authenticity is an ever evolving journey, not a one time destination. Always remember, B is for Beginning!! xoxo Lauren